A job seeker had an interview for a highly sought after position at MegaCorp. He waited three weeks in a lobby that was either designed to resemble the inside of a whale’s stomach or was actually the inside of a whale’s stomach. A receptionist behind a desk appeared to be dead and corroding due to her body’s absorption of the whale’s digestive juices. Nevertheless, this did not stop her from telling the job seeker “Mr. Krall will be ready for you in a few minutes” at the top of each hour. When Mr. Krall was actually ready for the job seeker, the receptionist tore her flesh from her chair and staggered slowly with difficulty as she led the job seeker through a curtain of black licorice. Now inside a room that resembled a Red Lobster restaurant, the job seeker sat down inside a kiddie pool that was filled with water. The pool seemed like was the most appropriate place to sit in the office because it was positioned across from a desk where a female blow up doll sat, wearing a tuxedo. The desk looked like it had come from an elementary school classroom. Water from the pool seeped through the job seeker’s suit and splashed against his skin. He had not expected that a blow up doll would be his interviewer. He was unfamiliar with the correct etiquette for interacting with a blow up doll. He stepped out of the kiddie pool and tried to shake the blow up doll’s hand. The blow up doll did not participate in the handshaking process. This made the job seeker uncomfortable. He sat back down in the kiddie pool. “Hello, my name is Marvin,” he said. The blow up doll did not respond. Perhaps MegaCorp was testing the job seeker? Perhaps they were interested in discovering how he would react to an extreme situation such as being assigned an interviewer who did not speak or participate in the handshaking process. The job seeker decided to guess what the blow up doll’s questions would have been if she were able to speak and he answered the questions. He told her why he was interested in working for MegaCorp, what skills he could bring to the company, where he saw himself in five years, his greatest strength, his greatest weakness, and he told her about a time where he faced a difficult problem and what he did to solve the problem. The blow up doll remained silent. The job seeker tried to determine a means of pleasing the blow up doll. After a few minutes of silent contemplation, he stepped out of the pool, took off his pants, folded them carefully, put them on the floor, and rubbed his penis until it was erect. Then he inserted his penis inside the hole that served as the blow up doll’s mouth and jabbed the back of its plastic throat exactly one hundred times. Seeking to please the blow up doll further, he retracted his penis, removed the blow up doll’s tuxedo, and inserted his penis inside the hole that served as the doll’s vagina. He thrust one hundred more times before switching to the hole that served as the doll’s anus and pounded into it again and again. Upon reaching his quota, the job seeker switched from hole to hole at random and stopped counting to one hundred each time. After three hours, he ejaculated into the hole that served as the blow up doll’s anus and put his pants back on. “Thank you for your interest,” the blow up doll said. “You will be hearing from us soon.”

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